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The Kid’s Corral incorporates the research-based discipline approaches from the Love and Logic programs.  Below is an excellent article from one of their contributors, Jedd Hafer…


Have you ever ruined a really good lesson with an “I told you so”? I know I have. Human nature just makes it difficult to resist “sharing our wisdom” at the wrong times.
Here are some thoughts on helping kids learn better from their own mistakes as well as learning from our mistakes.
The short version is: Save the “I told you so!” for when you mess up (lecture yourself out loud about what you learned) and pour on the empathy (mostly silent empathy) when kids make mistakes. This is not always easy to pull off, but kids tend to learn best from their own mistakes when we resist the urge to do a lot of explaining about what they should be learning.
It’s amazing how human beings, once told what they should be learning, resist the lesson. The focus can shift to the power struggle over whether or not they are going to learn what we want them to learn (or not).
Again, the experiment is simple:

1)   When you mess up, talk out loud (within range of their ears) about what you learned and how you aspire to do better next time.
2)   When they mess up, resist the urge to say “I told you so” and let empathy and the results do most of the teaching.

Haffer, Jed (2019, January 32).  Helping Kids Learn From Mistakes(Blog Post). Retrieved from:

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